Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Anxious Thoughts

All of these happened in the last hour or so. I think I'm still adjusting to the stress of non-spring break.

1. Do I still say ain't and don't realize it? When was the last time I said ain't? I don't remember!!
2. Is this my stir fry? I don't remember buying stir fry with eggs in it... Am I eating someone else's stir fry?
3. Was that dream about a tree falling on my apartment just a coincidence? I don't have any trees around my duplex.... That sure was a huge tree in my dream.
4. Do I shake my hands off like Richard Simmons when I dry off my hands now that I've actually sweated (or didn't come close to sweating ) to the oldies with him? What if other people know what he looks like when he fizzles?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Icing on the Cake and Purple Cornflower Seeds in my Gas and Water Bill!

Every cloud has a silver lining. Every spring semester at most schools has a Spring Break. And my last gas and water bill had a bag of Purple Coneflower seeds in it! And no, they are not to plant on your grave when you die of shock from seeing how high your gas bill is! It's actually a bid by the Purple Coneflowers for State Flowers to win Nebraskans over to a new state flower, since the goldenrod, the current state flower, is considered by some, to be a weed.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

What Do Robots Put in their Trailmix?

Nuts and bolts. Ha ha ha.

Friday, March 7, 2008


The warranty phishers just hit the PhD office!!! Who is safe?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Phishing my Phone? Perilous!

I just got a call on my phone from some random number--562 area code... Long Beach California? They told me my car's warranty was about to expire. Wow!! After 17 years????!!!
It's so obviously a mass--something or other like spam, but since when did this happen on the phone? And HOW DID THEY GET MY NUMBER??

Monday, March 3, 2008

Your Personalized Soap Opera

There was a soap opera on when was eating lunch today. I only really remember one of the characters--the tall, ruthless business baron with a gray-haired mustache. He always eats at fancy restaurants and tries to beguile women even though he is way too old and smarmy. The thought came to my mind, there could never be such a person in my life. And I wouldn't be afraid of him! Let him have another glass of wine, and shine his debonair teeth. He ain't gonna get the kind of girl I'm goin' for! But I got to thinking, what kinds of people would be in my soap opera??

1. The copy room saboteur. He (or... she) is the one who I should be suspicious of for trying to ruin my day by sending HUGE files to the printer, effectively bringing the printing queue for the ENTIRE second floor faculty and staff to its knees it for hours, or using up all of the staples in some of the staplers and jamming all the rest, or not putting the paper in with a slight arch upwards so every 5th sheet jams, and never in the same place. I can see it now, said saboteur is actually possessed with red eyes, probably a former love interest of mine who I spurned (in this case definitely a girl, and likely fictitious since I don't recall having spurned anyone whom I was once interested in), and who is desperately trying to get me kicked out of PhD school so I will spend more time with her / so she can reap her vilest revenge on me. Probably both at the same time.