Tuesday, September 30, 2008

What's in your... mailbox?

So I get a letter from Richmond Virginia in one of those orange serious looking envelopes. The kind that have classified material in them. Well this one was actually half that size. But still. Could this be a tax refund that I don't know about? Have I been called for jury duty? Is the FBI trying to contact me about that Moroccan who kept calling me over Skype?

No. Indeed not. I open the letter and there are two huge 0%'s staring back at me. Capital One. My old nemesis playing games with my head. Again. Apparently I've been marked as a tough customer who never opens their mail, unless it looks important and I'm tricked into thinking it's not from them. I got mail from capital one at least once a week for an entire year. Addressed to my name spelled correctly. I also used to get enough mail from them to maybe even prove that Aron Reid living at the same exact address at the same time actually exists. Aron Reid is a fictitious entity created by Dell when I ordered and canceled an order for a laptop from them. Over the phone. Dell told Big Brother mine and Aron's addresses and Big Brother told Capital One.

What I'm really wondering is why so sneaky? And why more than once or twice? Will I eventually be subdued into needing another credit card? Will I change my mind in a week? Maybe if I get a credit card from them, they will stop sending me junk mail?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Introducing... the Generic Evil Hacker

I pulled this off of the website about David Kernell's hacking into Sarah Palin's email* (before they updated it with a real picture of him). Of course a hacker would be wearing a hoodie!! Hacker says to self: Perhaps hiding my true identity in the real world will somehow help me mask my identity in cyberspace!!

It's emperor palpatine's fault that when people wear hoodies and you can't see their faces, you think of nefarious deeds. And death's fault as well. Because of them, when we see people masked behind hoodies, we think of PURE EVIL.

*I think this is pure lamo. First of all, I think the scandal they've found on Palin so far is way weak. Go ahead and talk all day about it. And second of all, I think it's very malicious (in addition to the fact that it's hacking into someone's email). A new face on the larger political scene isn't going to be as cautious about securing her communication as others would be. Way to go for picking on the little guy (gal)! Next thing you'll be hacking into Fort Knox!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Not a Big Seller

I still get emails from Out N Back in Provo to see what kind of fun camping stuff there is out there to buy. I was really tempted by this week's offering, but somehow found the wherewithal to resist.

"Hey Joey, you're back on Loo Lugging duty! Make sure the lid's on tight!"

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Strider the Spider

Spiders are Back

Some of you are asking for me to write in my blog again. Well, all of a sudden I have like five ideas for blogs. Keep asking!! Since the last one was about bugs, this one obviously should be too.

The spiders are back in the shower. I was feeling lazy so I did not pick up the spider before I took my shower. I just let the water run and figured that he would eventually end up going down the drain, or at least drown. Well this spider was nothing short of a mutant. I looked back after a while and saw him all wrapped up in a ball of legs and body, surely done for. This was not the case. I look back again, and spider is a good foot from last known position. This spider would not give up. He didn't think to himself--Ah, the water is warm, I will just roll up and die comfortably. NO!!! He was going to LIVE!!!* And crawl up and bite me to turn my leg into a bluish deli select meat. So I let him get drenched again. After minutes of shower business, I checked him again. Yet another attempt at escape!!! This time I tried to save him, for he deserved indeed to live, as my honorable opponent. This time he stopped moving at least. I put him in toilet paper to let him dry out. He still didn't move. I assumed he was dead and put him in the toilet. But look at this picture!!! (Forthcoming). Really dead or posed for another surprise attack??

*This spider will inspire me forever. I think I will call him Strider the Spider--he's taking it in stride. Or he's got a secret amazing identity and is just going by Strider like Aragorn in Lord of the Rings.