Cicada Killer Wasps!!!

I walked outside today to check the mail (even though I had already taken it in myself), and get the trash cans back in. Right as I stepped out I heard a very strange, attempt at cicada buzz, sounding much like it was running out of batteries. At the same time something plopped onto the ground. I was to discover, that indeed, the sound I heard was the dying gasps (or clicks) of a massive cicada.

......thundering applause and a standing ovation.......


But, Hark!!! Here is the picture that I took of this heroic monstrosity.





Here is Wikipedia's version. I think I saw a female. I also saw it FLY OFF carrying the dead cicada THROUGH THE AIR!



This is not the first time I have been successful in my extremely adept bugicide investigations. I have also discovered Bee killers as well. Look at the Wikipedia article.... wait.... I can't find the wikipedia article!!! 2,468,249 articles as of this writing and there isn't one on bee killers!!!! sick out. Well never mind. I did more research. It's actually a Robber Fly. Look that up.

Stop Spamming Me, LDS LinkUp!

So, twice this week I've gotten random, and, very importantly, unsolicited email messages from LDS LinkUp! They both have said "You have received a message from..." and then fill in with generic email ID like Juliet78... Juliet 78 windows on my soul? Juliet born in 1978? Juliet 78 donuts a day (hopefully humanly impossible)? I certainly never knew a Juliet.... Never. Except the one from my least favorite Shakespeare play. Nevertheless, I click on the link to this message, because it is LDS Linkup, and it could be something interesting, like I did know a Julie back in the day. She was my cave woman when I played the part of a cave man for a ward movie. She broke up with her cave man (probably because I konked her on the head), or maybe you flee from a cave man, but anyway, she got married. Maybe she wanted to send me a picture of her kid, or a link to her blog. But no! The link is broke. The one before from janelov51* was already deleted from the system. I don't think I checked it that much later. Sinister, I tell you, Sinister!! This is worse than spam, it's spam in sheep's clothing**!

But then, I can be more discerning. I don't even have a picture to alure random solicitations from females. Maybe it's my stunning credentials. Just checked.... not much there. All you'd know is that I'm a research assistant who went to Belgium on his mission. Probably several dozen of those, surely.



*I hope this name is not Jane lov 51, but a much more obscure, Russian sounding name... which would sound like Janilov...KGB...since 1951. Except that I'm pretty sure that names that end in "ov" are male. Maybe the KGB still wants... me of all people.

**Hmmmm.... Spam made from lamb... sounds like an abomination.

***Okay, my use of asterisks is a conscious rip off from a good friend's blogging style (who was also copying someone else). I usually write asterisk stuff in parentheses. I think parentheses are only supposed to have 1 sentence between them. Three is enough to offend people who don't even know better. I can't see a better way.

Random... um.... poetry about a Demolition Derby

I've been going through old journal entries today. Here's a direct copy and paste from August 17, 2003:

The undead lurching piles of metal, growling beasts with echoing rage, beat some to a limp and then a halt. Few remain moving. Then, out of the corner of the eye, a scrap heap finds its hidden reserve supply, crowds ring out as he plants the assuming victor into the clenches of dirt where he cannot return.

Why I Went to Grad School

About this time last year, I was at home in West Point, Utah, waiting for Malicha (the llama) to have her baby. I'm really glad she didn't, because it can be a complicated ordeal and no one was home but me. I've heard stories of llamas having to be pulled out by wrapping bailing twine around a leg because of some complication. That's more of the exception, but it could have happened.

Sometime during that visit, I managed to make a couple crows mad enough at me to consider me and and other humanoid form a threat to their chicks ever so helpless in the top of one of our pine trees. The second you stepped outside the door..... CAH CAH CAH!!! Then swoop. And more CAH CAH CAH!!! Not only that, they would follow you (maybe it was a they, I don't know if the male and the female split pestering predators duty or not) until you were out of sight. Rocks, squirt guns, and convincingly unfriendly language would not deter them. This happened for the REST OF THE SUMMER.

The thing is, there's another set of crows guarding their chicks this year. And they aren't dive bombing as of yet. So I am becoming more convinced that I might have indeed have been the catalyst for the entire reign of terror last year. I find it not entirely coincidential that I had picked up immitating crow calls from a roommate, and would no doubt have been easily stimulated by the sight of a crow to practice said crowing skills. I must have, by mistake, said "your chicks are so ugly and dumb, the best thing to do would be to feed them to me." Which are, more or less, mortal fighting words for any species. I am surprised that I didn't have a whole nation of crows recreating a scene from The Birds for all of my other crowing.

Thank goodness for grad school. All that readin and writin has done me good. I won't go crowing at crows again this year.

Four Hour Nap

I took a four hour nap today. I think that's close to my record. My longest was from the time I went to Disneyland with my family and cousins. My cousin Daniel and I went back to the hotel room to take a 45 minute nap and woke up five hours later. FIVE HOURS OF PRIME DISNEYLAND TIME. What a terrible waste. The same thing happened today. I went to bed at four and got up at six. Told myself that I'd go ahead and sleep for another fifteen minutes until 6:15. Got up after eight!

I'm struggling to think of anything funny to write about. My roommate Jordan told me this evening that he has a login on legoland.com or something like that (he's probably only ever spent 15 minutes on there). It's a virtual world with lego people. I thought, if I had a login on legoland.com, I would choose blockhead. Ha ha ha!

This picture isn't too bad. Maybe cell phone cameras do better with light. This is obviously back when I still had hair.

Cell Phone Pics!

This is a pizza from spring break. MMMM. It was goooood.